Two beginnings

Tomorrow our daughter is forty.

Forty.

Where did those years go?

There will be cake, celebration, laughter and lots of love. A milestone birthday deserves nothing less.

But for me, tomorrow has extra meaning

It was our wedding anniversary.

Forty years ago, our daughter was born,

On our third wedding anniversary,

And not just on the same date.

Our first born arrived at the exact time we had said I do.

1.30pm.

It has always felt like one of those extraordinary little coincidences that life gives you — two of the most significant moments of my life forever joined together by a date and a time.

For years, her birthday simply trumped our anniversary.

Of course it did.

There were presents to buy, parties to organise, candles to blow out and a little girl — and later a young woman — to celebrate.

Our anniversary was never forgotten. It just quietly sat in the background.

Tomorrow will be her fortieth.

And it will be her first without Dad.

That is the part brings tears to my eyes.

But I won’t put a shadow over her special day.

Tomorrow belongs to her.

I also know that, somewhere amongst the celebrations, I will be thinking about Ken.

I will remember us both, the young couple who had no idea what life would bring them.

And I will look at the woman our daughter has become.

Strong. Kind. Loving.

I’ll remember that although one of the people who gave me those two extraordinary moments is no longer here, something of him remains.

In her.

Perhaps that is what makes tomorrow a mixture of emotions.

I have lost my husband.

But I still have one of the greatest gift our marriage gave me.

A daughter.

Tomorrow I will celebrate her.

I will laugh. I will raise a glass. I will watch her turn forty and wonder, as every mother does, how on earth the years passed so quickly.

And somewhere quietly inside me, I will think of Ken.

Two beginnings.

One date.

Two of the most important moments of my life.

Happy 40th birthday, my beautiful girl.