Assessment

I had my pre counselling assessment this afternoon. The lady rang me to say she was running late at our appointed time and would be five to ten minutes after schedule – she’d ring again, (that turned into forty minutes), I didn’t think I’d be so anxious waiting.

I’m not sure what I expected, I’ve never asked for bereavement counselling before, this felt like a fact finding mission; there were obviously certain boxes to tick.

The intention today was ‘to find me a match’. There are differing levels of experience at their end, obviously some cases are more complicated than others.

It felt a bit intrusive and I could feel myself getting defensive which isn’t really like me. I had to keep repeating things in another way so my answers fitted the criteria. Questions about all the deaths over the last few years, Dad, Mum, Ken’s Mum and Dad, friends and those from the dementia family. I’ve been to so many funerals of late it has almost become a hobby.

I realised pretty quickly that this counselling lark was going to open a Pandora’s box that I’ve kept the lid on for years

I’ve no idea how the assessment went, but it was fairly evident that whoever takes me on is going to have a challenge. I’ve not got a date to start ‘properly’ as yet, seems like you have to wait for a slot to be available, I’ve requested to be seen face to face and in the evenings.

All said, it’s step in the right direction, I’m doing my best to look after my mental and physical health and am prepared to do what it takes.

Doesn’t mean I have to like it.