Okay I know I sound a bit like I’m a Merry Widow, I rarely have had so many social engagements in my calendar all at once.
Last night it was the Charity Summer Social event to acknowledge the hard work the staff do every day and three Trustees including me joined them.
The Trustees have traditionally often been remote, but we are trying to change that, and it was genuinely inspiring finding out a bit more about everyone and the job they do.
Of course it was also an opportunity to find out about me. Being a local lass I had a couple of tenuous connections, and they knew my situation. ( I had to postpone the training I was to facilitate on dementia when Ken became end of life).
There was also genuine interest in how I am adjusting to my new life, lots of talk about travel and our bucket list aspirations.
I was asked twice would I consider a new relationship in the future? It’s something that seems to crop up regularly, not quite sure why, I gave my stock answer that I couldn’t risk falling in love with someone and walking dementia path again.
I also realised how I now value my freedom above most other things. It is still a novelty that I can’t quite grasp or believe. Not directly accountable to anyone, except perhaps Hettie, though she seems quite happy with anyone who walks and feeds her.
In April my life was completely different, I had huge responsibilities to advocate for Ken and support him to live the best life he could. I don’t regret a moment of it, I gave my best, but maybe I haven’t understood just how much of me was invested into his world at the detriment to mine until now.
These are powerful feelings, I wonder how many others in my situation have felt this way. It’s like a door that was firmly shut to the future has been unlocked and with some trepidation I can get a glimpse of what life could be like.
I just need to be brave.
livinglifeafterdeath.com/blog 